So this weekend marks the return of a holiday that started well over 2000 years ago which resonates among our society with more fever than H1N1 (See how I'm keeping this current). So what's the lure of this horror-driven holiday? Well there's lots. And for this writer, October 31st always seems to play a trick. Read for explanation.
So Halloween gives every a chance to be a kid again. More so than any other holiday. There comes a time when you stop trick or treating, but there never really comes a time when you stop dressing up, hosting costume parties, drinking 'blood punch,' eating some candy, and celebrating a time to act stupid and childish and gleefully careless. This should be appealing to most people. This should be something to look forward to, and plan for, and take to a bit of an extreme that isn't usually encouraged on any other day of the year. It gives us a chance to dress up as things that maybe we weren't allowed to do when we were younger. Your mind allows you to be more creative. It's more than just your parents suggesting things for you to be based on the old clothes and props you have around the house. And you don't have to be the saddest clown ever. [Insert picture of me from 1989] So go be that seductive vampire, go be a pimp from Oakland, or a disheveled librarian, and have fun with it. Be childish again. Take your kids trick or treating, make them feel its all about them, then tuck them in and go be young and careless. It might be worth it.
I'm not to this point yet. I'm caught between dressing up for fun and dressing up to reclaim my childhood. I'm more in the dressing up because I want to look sweet at the bars. But it usually doesn't take much planning, effort, and usually doesn't let me reclaim any of my childhood memories. More times than not it just makes it harder for me to drink with some awkward costume on...
The other draw of Halloween for the adult world is the opportunity for an escape from their every day lives. Once you enter the working world, most likely, you spend most of your time trying to get away. Vacations. Holidays. Etc. Well what better way to get away than to change your identity and pretend to be someone or something else for a night? Halloween is the layman's version of those saucy ballroom masquerades, where the lack of knowing who you're talking to only extenuates your senses and exaggerates your excitement. It is that relative feeling of uneasy scintillation that allows people to experience something that they may only get once a year. Even if the interaction is only with your partner, it still adds an element of mystery and deceit that can provide such an escape from the drudge of 9-5, mon-fri that it warrants legitimately looking forward to.
This doesn't get me either. More times than not, girls are wearing less and less, and trust me, there is no mistaking their identity. And I don't know if I've ever had a costume where people legitimately didn't know who I was. So that whole masquerading and sneaking around is once again, let's just drink with costumes on...
So based on this, I never look forward to Halloween anymore. It's always a let down. I was never one to go over the top on my costume, never really let myself go, and never walked away thinking that the night's experience was worth any of the time, effort, or thought that I put into my costume. So what's the point? Well I'm not sure. But for the weeks leading up to October 31st, I never get too excited. I downplay the day, I express my concern, I never get too excited for a costume, and generally I look forward to Columbus day more than Halloween. Until about October 30th, coincidentally today. Then my black and orange blood gets flowing, my costume is all taken care of, and instead of grabbing pillow cases of candy, I will go forth and collect pints of beer. I hope you all do the same and enjoy this chance to be dumb without responsibilities (no one will know it's you!)
So there's this H1N1 scare going around. For lack of caring, I'm not going to do any research. These are just some of my thoughts that have surfaced since the rise of this pandemic about our country's general approach to heal and American health care.
Based on my experiences, and maybe ones with infants aside, but people have this knee jerk reaction when their body is threatened (to clarify, this is not 'Swine Flu' specific). So when there is any hint of infection, viral or bacterial, the first line of defense comes over the counter. Actually, beyond infections - any issue - there has to be some pill, or drug, or drink that you can take, pop, or chug in an attempt to cure those 'problems.' Whatever happened to taking accountability? Our bodies are magnificent structures of unimaginable capabilities. But all I see are people finding some sort of composite, artificial, manufactured, structured, calculated, programmed, organized, or specialized temporary 'solutions to whatever ails them.
Well maybe it's my masochistic nature of wanting to and appreciating the pain my body endures, or maybe it's my desire to be my own solution to my apparent problems, but doesn't it seem like a cop out? Like Rocky realizes in his agonizing drive before deciding to travel to Russia to face Drago in Rocky IV, 'there's no easy way out, there's no short cut home.' Because if you don't address your issue now, face up, and deal with it IN REALITY, then all you're doing is suppressing it. Just because you're relieving pain doesn't mean you're curing it. Just because you're minimizing swelling doesn't mean you're fixing the joint. Just because you're numbing the pain, doesn't mean you still don't have it. Just because you're sucking down an energy drink doesn't mean your body is revitalized. Just because this country tells you that in two easy payments of 19.95, your problems can be solved, doesn't mean they solve anything. Your health, mental and physical, should be taken care of naturally. Maybe that force field that people build around themselves won't be so vulnerable to a common cold. Get some dirt under your nails. Leave part of your body unsanitary. It might help set you free, and probably keep you a little stronger and healthier. And if not, at the end of the day, at least you trusted your body. Isn't that a decision you can live with?
When you invest your money, you expect a return. If your cost was more than your gain, this is usually considered a failure. There are times when you take the hit for the better of the company, but generally cost < gain.
Because we're dumb. Well, at least I am. Stick with me for a while. This is deeeefinitely not a black and white topic, but I want to explore it for a while.
So if what we would all do as business owners is to be calculated, why don't we apply the same tactics to the things that matter the most, like our well-being, our state of mind, our heart? Where is our return on investment with matters of the heart? Where, when we sink innumerable hours and days and weeks of time and thought and dreams and wishes and hopes and tears into people, is our return on investment then? Why, through phone calls and emails and texts and dinners, do we forget about the quality of life compared to the nature of the investment. What will it take for me to look at the logical side of the equation. Whatever happened to making decisions, not just 'having feelings?' People (yes, people) say they can't control how they feel. You see someone, you begin to like them your enjoy their shortcomings, your pursue, you wait, to bait, you do everything in your consciousness to place yourself in their good graces, hoping that one day, this magical gift will one day pay off.
Bull. 'Can't control how you feel.' Ha! I believe you can. I believe quite matter-of-factly that you can.
And I believe it was a decision in the first place that made you pursue. Sure, your heart, or more accurately your eyes, will get you started in that direction. But you still stop at the end of the day and think, 'yes,' I want to continue this pursuit... 'yes' this makes sense to me... 'yes' I will allow this to continue... 'yes' my thoughts will be occupied... 'yes' I'm in.
So why can't you stop that? Because your heart says this person is the right one? Apparently not. You hear about stories of one person 'chasing' someone for years, always waiting, biding time, and hoping that one day, things will work out. And then they do. How can that possibly be a mutually invested relationship?? What's the equation end up being? Well that doesn't quite work, since the scale is probably weighted. If, after all that time, the relationship will make you eternally happy, then the profit will always outweigh the gain. But that's only if that relationship makes you eternally happy.
Don't you think there might be some thought of 'why did it take this long? did you just explore every other option and settle on me?' Are those questions EVER worth asking? Is it ever worth feeling like someone that you have pined for, simply settled on you because you were the safe bet. The safety valve. The dump off pass against top notch defensive backs. Everyone down field is covered, the quarterback finally feels the pressure, rolls out, scrambles, and finally sees the one person that never strayed too far away...
Now where's your Return on Investment? Now how many decisions were made 'for' your heart? Now how are you sleeping at night?
There comes a time when your mind can overpower your heart. I'm not saying always. There are times when your heart, undeniably strong, can take over. But your heart doesn't have eyes. So as blind as love is, so are mistakes in love. Maybe it takes some logical sight to help keep your head above water. To cut your losses. To find a better deal. And in the matter of people, to find a 1/1 ratio of investment to return, since after all, we're not a business. We're a group of beings that should be more concerned with love. So while we will stumble into devastating losses that no business manager would approve, the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, will hopefully one day prepare you for gaining every ounce that you invested, a mutual partnership, and one that gives your heart, and mind, every nutrient needed to thrive.
So I just turned 24. 8766 days. 8768 now... A week ago, it was 8761. The difference between 23 and 24 ranges from 1 day and 729 days. Numbers can't quantify us. There is no formula. There are no distinct benchmarks. There is no path from a to z. Nothing gets handed to us at a certain age. Except maybe a driver's license. So then why do we put any importance on age?
I wrote about this 4 months ago. The point was not to relive this topic. The point was to explore the topic of maturity and responsibility. Because those two things are completely linked and honestly, I think those two topics are forgotten in today's world.
I already have a premonition that I won't be able to voice my true opinion on this topic. And this will come off as ranty and bitchy. But this has been on my mind for a while now, so here it comes.
Responsibility comes in all shapes and sizes. Moral responsibility. Social responsibility. Financial responsibility. And maturity is also something that's relatively diverse and fluid. But there seems to be a void in our society when these topics come up. And while I struggle mightily to write this, and I can't place my theory into a realistic context, my hunch is that at the root of this festering lack of maturity and responsibility is an unprecedented rise in selfishness.
So maybe that's where the disconnect is. Maybe that's where I find myself meeting people and talking to people that have taken the proper steps in their life to act like an adult, but they still don't. People have lost the instinct to help others. We're all so preoccupied with blackberrys and iphones and the crisp speed of life that we've lost our connection to the rest of the world.
And maybe this is why I am having such a hard time getting out a functional, flowing thought on this topic. This is on the verge of the culmination of much of what I've written about already. This is part of my plea for people to stay connected, with friends and strangers, to offer a face instead of a name. This is part of my explanation of slowing down life and appreciating the simple details that are so often over looked. This is part of my sadistic nature of the internet. My masochistic way of living. This is part of my zodiac symbol being a scale, attempting to live a balanced life. And this is a huge part of the changes I took on in the end of college and the beginning parts of my adult life. To put others before myself. To rise above the little things. 'The ability to let that which doesn't matter truly slide.' And maybe my purpose was, and is to get people to open their eyes. Maybe I'll figure it out a little more and paint a little clearer picture. For now, I just needed to get some of these things out there. Next step might be a plan of action...
