The closer and closer I get to being an adult, the
more and more I realize that it can be boiled down very simply to one word, and
for anyone who has ever read this blog, you'll be shocked to find out that the
word is not balance, although I'm sure it factors in. Like balance, this word
applies to every facet of life, whether it's work, home, family, friends,
pleasure, pain, it broad strokes across everything and anything. It's so
obvious how important this is, it bothers me that it took more than three and a
half years to finally focus on it. Sure, the word has come up here and there,
and the idea might have been breached, but never with the intensity or baggage
that I plan on using here. It's how we can explicitly explain and define how we
think. It's how we can explicitly explain and define how we act. It's so
terribly integrated into our lives that it can be overlooked. I know I have. It's
so overlooked, that I don't think anyone reading this has guessed it yet. Did I
drag this out long enough? The word I am speaking of is priorities.
The time line could be short. I have 30 minutes
before bed. Do I browse the movie channels and try to find something I've seen
enough times to jump into, say Wanted, or Stomp the Yard? Do I watch an episode
of Boy Meets World on my computer, maybe the end of Season two, where inexplicably
Harley Kiener is replaced with pretty boy thug 'Griffin,' better known as Will
Ferrell's older brother in Step Brothers? Do I make my lunch and get ready for
bed, hoping the extra fifteen minutes will leave me with less than a dozen snoozes before I finally tumble out of bed and into a shower? Do I pick up my
book for a few minutes of flipping backwards to figure out the last thing I
read, presumably weeks ago, then a few minutes of new material, before reaching
a point of dreary eyes that leads to a peaceful descent into mild hibernation?
These decisions, while seemingly insignificant, are my priorities.
The time could be longer. Where do I want my career
to end up? Do I like what I do enough to be complacent and ride this thing out?
Do I reach, stretch, bend, and elevate my actions to possibly lift my current
situation to new heights, to new people, to new opportunities? Do I only put in
time on the work that I know is visible, or important, or easy, or do I give
appropriate attention to each of my projects? Have I introduced myself to the
right people? What kind of impression did I leave on my peers? My superiors? My
subordinates (if I had any)? There might be some short term decisions in there,
but each and every part, big and small, so clearly defines my priorities over a
long period of time.
When you’re stuck in traffic for an hour to and
from work, and you’re sick of scrolling through twelve different radio stations
just to find a song you can tolerate, not even like, that’s when my thoughts
tend to take over, at least when I’m not banging my head against the wheel,
figuratively, because of the undeniable and saddening truth that the
majority of the people in this world are bad drivers. So in those ‘down times,’
I spend my time clutching, shifting, and thinking. So you might assume that
what I’m thinking about tells someone, say, what I’m interested in, or what’s
current, or what’s been bothering me. It might be replaying a shitty decision
at work, analyzing why I’m so easy to cancel on, or simply daydreaming about
something that could be, someday. These are all possibilities, but more than
anything, and maybe it’s just a different way of saying the same thing, but
more than anything, this dictates my priorities.
So I have a thought about a girl on my way to
work. There’s the priority. I open my work computer when I get home. There’s
the priority. I join a kick ball and volleyball team during the week. There’s
the priority. I spend money on food and drinks with friends. There’s the
priority.
Your life can be broken down like a power
ranking. Everything. Every piece of your life is a priority. And it gets
ranked. For many people, family is and will always be at the top of that list.
And that list will shift over time, because of age, because of circumstance,
because of friendships, because of careers, because of money, because of
literally thousands of things that you may or may not have ever thought about,
but at the end of the day, at the end of the week, month, year, your life,
there will always been a stacked list of priorities, and the one with the lower
number will outrank the one with the higher number, until you see fit for that
to change. This might not seem revolutionary. In fact, I can promise you that
it is not. But next time you have a thought, next time you make a choice, next
time you take a step, think about what you’re sacrificing, and make sure your
priorities are in line.
Unless you’re too straight-laced. Then in the
great words of Mitch Hedberg, ‘get your priorities crooked.’
