I helped out a friend tonight and played on his 4 v 4 sand volleyball team on North Avenue beach. We were slotted for the 7:30 time slot, and somewhere between the lake, the beach, the sky, and the skyline, I was caught between bliss and perfection. I don't care how many times I see this place, and how long I live here, there is something truly awe-inspiring about Chicago. Everyone should get a chance to experience it.
And somewhere between that thought, and my little cousin saying "staying up late because i never want this day to end," I have a pretty heavyset appreciation for everything that life can be, which is sometimes overwhelming, but always finds a way to once in a while, leave you breathless.
Somehow I don't think exploring this topic will shed any more light on what I'm trying to say, so there it is.
So this weekend, I spent three nights on the banks of Lake Redstone near La Valle, Wisconsin. In case any of you missed me. Sorry. But 12-16 of my nearest and dearest accompanied me to the lower intestines of our bordering state to the north, for a stretch of bliss and debauchery that rivals I've been around. Good people. Good times. Good weather. Good food. Good scenery. Good memories. Good luck. So what were the highlights? What will I remember? What will I be forever indebted to my friends for experiencing with me from July 9th-11th? Well let's see what I actually do remember...
Morris' car ride up there: Morris, Nelli, and myself, the least amount of people in any car the first night, but probably had the most fun. Karaoke like woah. Pink - Just Like A Pill. Circus.
The first night feeling of the crew without work on Friday: Ride the Bus. Beer pong. Wrestling. A picture of cooper on my shoulder. A mild case of the choke holds. A depletion of all the beverages we traveled with. Good night.
Bags: Started Friday and pretty much went the entire weekend. Three different people 'signed' the boards. RJ and Costy only lost two games on Friday. Cassie and Mallory trying to get off the beginner boards. Playing too late and starting too early.
The dock: Getting shoved, and in mid-air, snatching my cubs hat off and hurling it back over my head towards the dock, landing it perfectly and safely. Before Socki kicked it off. And before I stood up to a bloody nose. Running fly patterns and launching into the water to catch my perfectly thrown passes. And the pictures Whitney took of them. Someone sprinting full force towards the dock and biting it two steps onto the aluminum dock. Locked armed guys jumping backwards. Morris looking like he's walking on water. Gay fish.
The shenanigans of Friday late night: Welcoming two more members. I was around for some of it. Most of the rest was around for the rest. I don't think it's fair to get into any of the details, but for those who were around, I don't think the events will be forgotten anytime soon.
Welcoming the last two members of the gang. Not much of a story, just needed to make a mention.
The barrage of water balloons. Again, not much of a story. Just saying.
Offending our neighbors: Apparently the guy's 18 year old daughters were too young to hear swearing.
Kicking out the young ones: Even though Adam loved them and showed them a tour, the four 15 year old guys were just too young to allow around. Luckily we had Morris to regulate.
Mike Nelli and his outfit. Enough said.
But the one thing that I will remember the most is the night sky on Saturday night. Don't get me wrong, I love this city. I love Chicago and all it has to offer. But the glow of the city extinguishes the brilliance of a true night sky. Sprawled on the dock, gazing upward at an array of stars that I haven't seen in years. I was absolutely blown away at the vastness of starlight sky and the sheer crispness of every dot that encompassed me. It was awe-inspiring. It was on the verge of breath-taking.
And while the entire weekend was pretty much perfect, with lasting memories and closer friends, I can close my eyes and take myself back to that view, that moment, and be truly happy.
Thank you, to all my friends. It was truly an amazing weekend that will always live among the best memories of my life.
Last night, I had a dream. I'm not going to go into detail about it, because, as Dennis from Its Always Sunny so eloquently states, 'Dee, other people's dreams are like a stack of photos... if I'm not in them and no one's having sex, I don't give a shit.' So the moral of the dream was someone broke into 'my' car and was waiting for me in the back seat. Now this thought alone doesn't scare me. But the moment I woke up, I had a thought that maybe this dream or nightmare happened as some sort of spiritual warning and I was in some sort of danger.
I was home alone when this happened, at 3 in the morning, in an eerily quiet Wrigleyville neighborhood. I couldn't hear a train, a car, a drunk, a bottle, nothing. No music. No creaking floors or spinning fans or even air conditioners. All I had was a dark, empty, silent apartment, in a dark, empty, silent city, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw somebody waiting for me.
This got me thinking (since I obviously couldn't fall back asleep, and was reminded of this around 2pm today), and I have continued thinking about what truly scares us. I have been known to go on a marathon of question exchanges, and I commonly ask 'what is your biggest fear.' I usually say being alone. In every essence of the word. Sometimes it's when it's dark and scary out. Sometimes it's thinking about being 45 years old and alone. Sometimes it's dying with no one around to care. But I claim that to be my greatest fear. I like it because it's thoughtful and a little deeper than scorpions or bees. Even if I just flat out hate scorpions. I just don't get them, and they're creepy.
But I guess why I kept thinking about this is because I'm not scared of the logical things. I'm not scared of not having enough money, or getting into a car accident, or losing a family member to cancer, or saying goodbye to a friend, or getting fired from my job.
And I'm not scared of being alone, because I don't believe I will be. Confidence can overcome a fear.
I'm not scared of heights. I'm not really scared of drowning. Fire doesn't keep me up at night.
Not even the vast unknown of my life can scare me. The night. The silence. Those things that kept me up last night, those things aren't scary. Those are easily overcome with logic, and maybe a quick trip around the apt with all the lights on.
You know what scares me? My thoughts, and their potential. They're endless potential. The ability of my mind to convince me that I was in danger, even though I was safely under my covers, albeit restless. What else can my mind convince me of without my conscious realizing it? Does my mind have a mind of it's own? How many parts of me are acting on my life? Do other organs do stuff like that? Probably not. Besides my liver just flat out quitting. But other than that, the vast potential of my mind terrifies me. Because apparently, it's not always something I can control.
...and scorpions. seriously wtf. become extinct.
So what scares you?
