I’ll tell you what happened. It’s the same thing that
ruins all childhoods. It ruins eating a bag of Doritos in one sitting, it ruins
staying up til 5am playing video games, it ruins pretending the gravel is lava;
adulthood. I don’t know when the change happened for me, but I can sure as shit
explain why:
1.) I’m a nearly 30-year-old man with a decent job. If
there is something I need, I buy it. If there’s something I want, I buy it. If
there’s a vacation I want to take, I take it. No, I’m not made of money. And of
course there are things I want and can’t afford and places I want to go but can’t
pull the trigger, but I’m not sitting here looking through the window of a
nearby department store wishing I could look as good as the mannequin. I’m not bitching
about the rubber coming up on the right joystick of my PS3 controller. I have everything
I need and most things I want. My life is pretty complete as far as material
shit is concerned.
2.) There is more pressure and stress to open a gift in
which you haven’t the slightest idea what lies inside than there is to find the
right gift for someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m genuinely happy with
everything I unwrapped this year, but not everyone walks away unscathed. And
despite my content, there’s that moment of trepidation when you unwrap a
mystery and think ‘how the hell am I going to fake like I like this thing?’ It
doesn’t matter how many miles separate you from the sender, it’s dreadful.
3.) There are few things more satisfying than nailing the
perfect gift for someone. It can be a little risky, but the reward of seeing
their face and knowing that their happiness has a direct cause and it’s you is
worth it. And shopping isn’t too hard these days. Online shopping has made it
very easy to find everything you need without having to see the last row of the
parking lot at Woodfield. If you can conceive it, there’s a good chance it’s
for sale, and probably for ½ off until Christmas Eve. Add that to a great wrap
job and it’s a lay-up nine times out of ten.
Or maybe it’s just because it feels so selfish to open up
something that someone spent money on for me. What did I do to deserve this? I
almost feel guilty. BUT, for the same reasons it feels so good to make someone
else happy, someone else feels happy by making you happy. It’s a sick cycle, but
it’s the truth. I get my knickers off by making other people happy, and other
people get their knickers off by making me happy. Don’t be a Grinch and say you
don’t want any gifts. Because while shopping isn’t always fun and you might
strike out once in a while, gift GIVING is the important part of the holidays,
not gift getting.
