My best friend's phone number didn't have any even digits.
It's hard to conceive how many times I dialed it during my childhood. And when
a voice connected at the other end, my response was identical, unchanging for
the years before I moved. 'Hi, is Justin there?' Then his mom, his sister, one
of his brothers, rarely his dad, would barely drop the phone before screaming
his name. In reality, we lived so close, I'm surprised I couldn't hear the
yell. He didn't have the option of ducking the call. Truth is, he never would
have. Our social circle was the size of a thimble compared to the blimps we see
today. The only frustration that amassed was during busy signals. Five, six,
seven in a row, you become less and less patient. How long do you wait in-between?
His sister would talk for hours. Walking six houses seemed like miles, so we stayed
consistent, persistently redialing until we got our answer. 'Want to ride our
bikes?' 'Sure. Where?'
In many ways, I've loved writing for a long time. I tried my
hand at poetry several times throughout my learning days. Wrote one in 5th
grade called 'the game.' I rejected a lot of the assigned, expository or
persuasive type essays, but in high school I fell in love with the art of
written communication. The days of AIM had already flared up, but there was
something nostalgic and meaningful to pass notes back and forth. I don't mean
little half pieces of paper when the teacher's back is turned. I'm talking
like, 1, 2 page notes. Ones that you start in second period and don't finish
til after lunch. Ones that get folded in ways that were more challenging to
deconstruct than to read. Ones that included different color pens. Here, the
delay was expected. You might get started during eighth period, but then finish
when you're supposed to be doing your homework. If you got a note back the next
day, that was impressive. Same day? Well, clearly not enough effort was put in
to make it pretty and entertaining, but the fast response was appreciated.
Especially when you might have 3 to finish before geography. The lines of the
notes might be laced with drama, but the means were treasured.
High school was my last time spent in the dark ages. I got a
cell phone before college. Had Facebook just after my 19th birthday. I'm still
scared of Twitter. The amount of communication lines continue to expand unnecessarily,
and the reaction time is decreasing. More news is spread through Facebook and
Twitter than on the news. The lines between friendship, networking, and
stalking have never been so blurred. The Venn Diagram cross-section too much
resembles one circle. And while I didn't have enough friends to fill up my
hands and feet, now I can barely keep track of last name changes. It can be
overwhelming. The accelerated and accessible communication has made it nearly
impossible to go 'dark.' Even if you drop your cell phone in a cup of beer,
you're expected to have it replaced by the weekend. Your house loses power?
Your cell phone still works. You're flying to Germany? Planes have wi-fi.
You're just checking your email? Well, I sent you a gchat. You're just updating
some pictures? I sent you a FB chat. You are driving across the country? I
texted you, dammit. You’re camping in Montana? Well, why?
The excessive avenues to reach someone has added a pressure
that barely anyone before 2000 has felt. You have to respond. And when you
don't, people get annoyed. Sometimes justifiably, most of the time
irrationally. The double-edged sword gets us all into trouble. You may not have
time to respond, but instead of saying 'can't talk, will call you later,' you
just push the phone back into your pocket and continue your night. The act
seems harmless, but some day you might be on the other end of that text. It's
hard for people to comprehend that you can be unreachable. Last weekend I was
on my parents' boat for about 7 straight hours with my phone off. Sometimes,
you can go dark. But there are other times, normal times of communication,
normal responsibilities, times that were planned, times where your lack of
availability is causing problems. 'We have a softball game tonight, can you
play?' -nothing 'We still on for dinner tonight?' -nothing 'I'll be home on the
28th, will you be around.' -nothing
Everyone has different tolerances, expectations, and tendencies
when it comes to communication in the 21st century. I don't know what's right
and wrong. I've neglected messages, forgotten about texts, ignored phone calls,
and shut my computer down plenty of times. I've also responded to all of the
above as fast as it took to reach out to me in the first place. But there are
fewer and fewer places to hide. Your responsibility to keep up with a social
circle is growing, whether you like it or not. And you're going to disappoint
people no matter how you respond. But it beats the hell out of ‘Hi is Justin
there?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘Oh…’
