I recently heard someone say that we're all just here, living a temporary life. Temporary life meaning that this wasn't the first stop on our trip, and this won't be our last. That there are places to go after we die, so just bide our time, because there's a lot more to this ride than you can comprehend.
Sorry?
Let me preface this by saying that I'm not here to tell you that you're your beliefs, morals, or the ways you live your life are wrong. I don't have the answers, I have never claimed to. And even the strongest of my arguments has a second ear to listen to the other side, because at any moment, I could be as wrong as I claim my opposition is. So if all I accomplish with this post is to help you inspect your habits and actions to a degree that you're not used to, then I consider it a success. You might find out that what you have set up for yourself is exactly what you believe is the right thing to do, so all this did was reinforce it. Or you might find some areas that could use a tweak, so all you had to do was steer the bow a touch. I don't plan on overhauling any lives with this.
Getting back to this point, the point of believing that this life, the life we lead until we die, is just a skipping stone. If you want to call this a temporary life because it's, well, not permanent, I'm all for it. But, if this is just a means to the ends, if you live this life on the theory or guess that there is an afterlife, and that your only goal is to make sure you're on the right track to a prosperous and delightful eternity, then you have to be missing out on something. I'm not one to say whether there is or is not an afterlife. Really, I, like everyone else currently alive, has no idea. No matter how much faith you have, or research you've done, or any other means of formulating an opinion, no one has anything more than a guess as to what happens to us when we die. Would I like to believe that there is an afterlife? Sure. Do I? That's harder for me to admit.
But what I can admit is simple: there is a real life. There is a today. And for most people in the world, there is a tomorrow. I am 24 years old, and hopefully, if I can keep this up, I have about another 60 years of my life left. And in the same way that the boys from Dazed and Confused wanted to walk away knowing they got the most out of their time spent at Robert E. Lee High School, I want to get the most out of this life. This current, human interaction, blood can be shed, feelings can be felt, real life that we are all experiencing.
The problem with me writing about this, is there is a disconnect between what constitutes the path of afterlife. I agree, thinking in extremes, it would be worse to 'enjoy' this life and spend eternity in hell compared to 'sacrificing' this life and spending eternity in heaven. Given the two scenarios, it's fairly obvious which one we would all pick. But would you put all your chips down on a 50/50 bet? Because no matter how much faith you have, or scientific proof there is, there's nothing more to tell any of us that all we're doing is guessing.
So for me, to sum up my reason for writing this little post, I want to play with my chips. What we have here is real, if nothing else. If I spend my life sacrificing the very things that I believe I would enjoy, then I am taking such an enormous risk. To risk everything based on a belief that holds zero substantial proof is plausibly insane. Nothing matters more than the people you interact with on a daily basis. No one matters more than the people that love you. And nothing is worth the sacrifice of neglecting the essence of what it means to be alive in order to satisfy a belief of an imaginary eternal bliss with absolutely zero physical evidence.
This may be a temporary home, but never forget that this is a home while you are here, so take every opportunity to make it a home worth living in, not just a stepping stone to something you deem might be better.
While I breach my one year anniversary with this experiment I refer to as From Shore to Pschorr, it conveniently corresponds to those 12-month spans that we call years. I know I don't like to compartmentalize time in things like years, but for the sake of this post, I just want to share a few thoughts on 2009.
You know in Office Space when Peter describes how every day is the new worst day of his life? That could not be farther from the truth for me. Every year of my life has been better than the previous year. 2009 was the best year of my life. I'm not saying that every day was better than the previous, but as a whole, I am truly pleased with how well the year went. A year working the same job. A year driving the same car. A year living on my own. Escaped to Wisconsin twice, Ft Lauderdale once, and painted New York City for the first time, which is still surreal to me. I met new people. Stayed connected with old friends. Even managed to date a girl or two.
Overall, I am more of a complete self than I have ever been. I am closer to figuring out who I am and moving forward with a purpose. The first 6 months of 2006 started a change in my life that is unrivaled, and every segment of time since then has been a reinforcement of the direction my life is going. I am confident in who I am and what I believe in. I am in the best shape of my life. I have the closest friends that I can remember. There have been so many memorable nights that I can't even begin to list them all. Let's just say I have 978 pictures saved in 29 different folders from 2009 alone. So to all my friends that were with me for those days and nights, thank you.
We rocked last year.
A bridge is burned, and all that is left is ashes. Can it ever be rebuilt? If it is rebuilt, can it ever be the same? We spend most of our lives building up and tearing down bridges, constantly changing the connections we have between the people around us. We meet new people and forget about old ones. Some people are able to build more and more, while others have to torch one before something new can be erected. And throughout the course of time, we spend more time riveting steel and suspending wood, swinging wrecking balls and lighting fires than most cities.
The idea of a burned bridge is something a little more serious than just drifting away from people you were once close with. There are hundreds of people that, over the course of the last 12 to 15 years, I have, at some point, established a relationship with, whether it was someone I sat next to everyday or someone whose hand I held late at night. So while the depth of these relationships vary across the board, not all of them have made it to the present. (See Save the Date). But I can't classify anyone no longer close to me as falling into a disconnected abyss, bridge after bridge collapsed and destroyed. I would more or less put them in a group of simply abandoned and unkempt bridges. Ones strewn with moss and vines, ones that, while may look like the path of most resistance, or the scary, dark, wooded fork in the road, the bridge is still standing. And with a little maintenance, can once again burden the weight of constant tread.
A burned bridge means someone carried the torch and severed the ties. Someone set off the fuse. Lit the match. The disconnect that ensues is motivated. Someone is making an active decision to remove a presence, a presence that is no longer welcome. And what does this accomplish?
Well, if that presence constantly negatively affects your daily life, then remove it. If that presence physically hurts you, from hitting, from not eating, from not sleeping, from self-inflicted pain, then remove it. If that presence creates an atmosphere non-conducive to a healthy life style, then remove it. Anything along these lines, then there stands a bridge that should be demolished. For this, one less connection is a good thing.
But aside from that, from seriously damaging figures that you come in contact with, is there any real reason to knock out the support of something that brings people together? There are people that have done things that I don't agree with, and people that haven't treated me well, and people that have lied to me, and deceived me, and people that have ignored me, and forgotten me, and there are people that for the most part, don't really deserve my best effort, my compassion, my presence in their lives. But is any of that enough to truly allow me to turn my back if a situation in the future calls for confrontation, commitment, or common conversation? Have any of them wronged me to the point of no return?
I take bridges very seriously. It takes a lot for me to start swinging at the bricks beneath the bridges that connect me to the rest of the world I know. Because a bridge that has crumbled will never look the same. It might serve the same purpose, and someone can still walk from one side to the other, but arched or suspended, those that walk across will always be reminded of the rubble below. The shattered cement blocks and singed wood splinters will forever decorate the landscape below.
Moss can be trimmed. Dust can be swept. Dirt can be cleaned. Vines can be removed. But the history of a crumbled bridge can never trimmed or swept or cleaned or removed. Think twice before you detonate.
So the new year is here. New day, week, month, year, and decade, all here at once. And the beginning of a new year is a chance for people to say yes, today is the day for change. They can raise their glass high as the ball descends on midnight, and when they wake up in the morning, things will be different. Writing two different numbers at the end of the date will transition your bad habits and lazy attitudes into feats of valor. You dug down deep, found what really needed to change in your life, or, just something that you wanted to change, and you found the courage to force your life into an upward spiral, freeing yourself from the shackles of your former self to emerge on the other side only to say, 'Here I am, and I am a better person than I was last year. You'll see.'
Okay maybe I over-glamorized this idea, but doesn't it kind of seem foolish when you lay it out that way? I mean, we're so caught up in defining and classifying things that we forget that life isn't just simply divided into perfect, equal sections. But somehow when it comes to personal change, the numbers on the calendar have to flip before we take it seriously. So what it's important to you now wasn't important to you in December? Then how important is it? Did you think of something in October and think, 'ya know, that seems like a good life decision. But I'm going to wait for a new year before I implement this into my life, otherwise I won't follow through?' Then what does that say about your desire to change in the first place? Are you just doing it because it seems like the right thing to do, even though you don't believe in it? If at any point in your life, you realize there needs to be a change in your life, then every day you put it off is a waste. A lie. A deceit of your own mind. And convincing yourself that a necessary change can be set aside for another day might be one of the greatest tricks someone can play on them self.
I'm not saying I'm against resolutions. Yeah it might piss me off that I have to wait for a treadmill because 90,000 people decided that 2010 is the year they'll get in shape, for a month, but I like the idea of people making their life, their body, and their state of mind a better and healthier place. I like seeing out of shape people in the gym. At least it shows they are trying. And I like seeing people skipping the doughnut aisle at the grocery store. Or sending out thank you notes to people they may have wronged. Or any other small or large change in someone's life that has a positive impact on the world. Donating to a charity. Helping someone train for a marathon. Volunteering once a month. Changing your perspective on life to have an optimistic outlook. All of it are steps in the right direction.
I just encourage everyone to take the necessary strides for a better life on a Tuesday in June or the 5th of March or the last weekend in October, because positive change is something that should never be delayed. Let your own self-motivation drive you. If you don't have any, then there's where you need to start resolving. Until then, save New Years for champagne and bowl games, let the changes take place as they come.
