Save the Date

So, the primary person responsible for getting me through high school, for unintentionally giving me hope, but unquestionably giving me love, friendship, compassion, and respect, is getting married. I got the Save the Date letter in the mail yesterday. October 17th. A week after my 24th birthday.

I'm not sure why I lead in with that, but I guess it leads me to the idea of nostalgic memories from high school and college, even if I'm barely removed from the latter. Thinking about how many times one person dominated 2 months of my life. When someone was a staple, a constant, but only for a short period of time, ultimately proving to be a paper clip, a moon phase. So much of my teen life was built on mini-foundations. Foundations, while unbelievably solid and rooted, never amounted to a large-scale structure. Foundations that could be a part of something bigger, but as they are now, lie dormant and vacant, scattered and unfinished. Like Machu Picchu.

Now some of these foundations have resurfaced, adding a few more layers of brick. Some of them have left the past in the past. Some of the, have started a second foundation, realizing the first was based on nothing but notebook paper and poetry. On AIM and Facebook. On and gym shorts and detention.

But those foundations grew so strong, so quickly, because I needed them. I was like Chris Farley tumbling down the mountain in Black Sheep: if I didn't perforate the ground, drag my nails, and grab on to anything with a root, I was toast. I was gaining speed. I was hitting trees. I was forgotten. So i did. I latched onto anything I could. I launched spikes into the ground, hoping I could stop some of my momentum. And I built so much out of so little. I used my future advice to find the perfect in the damaged and the beautiful in the ordinary. A made something, everything.

So now when I look back, I see tiled layers of foundations that were imperative to my progress because I put so much stock into who they were and what they did. But like the stepping stones at the end of The Golden Child, most of them have disappeared during my journey.

So, to bring this full circle. To look back on all those 'foundations' and 'stepping stones' and 'bricks in my wall' and any other reason to use the single quotation mark... there's only one that I still have unconditional love for. So I'm saving the date. For October 17th. A week after my 24th birthday. And I don't know what to feel.