Communication in 2011

My best friend's phone number didn't have any even digits. It's hard to conceive how many times I dialed it during my childhood. And when a voice connected at the other end, my response was identical, unchanging for the years before I moved. 'Hi, is Justin there?' Then his mom, his sister, one of his brothers, rarely his dad, would barely drop the phone before screaming his name. In reality, we lived so close, I'm surprised I couldn't hear the yell. He didn't have the option of ducking the call. Truth is, he never would have. Our social circle was the size of a thimble compared to the blimps we see today. The only frustration that amassed was during busy signals. Five, six, seven in a row, you become less and less patient. How long do you wait in-between? His sister would talk for hours. Walking six houses seemed like miles, so we stayed consistent, persistently redialing until we got our answer. 'Want to ride our bikes?' 'Sure. Where?'

In many ways, I've loved writing for a long time. I tried my hand at poetry several times throughout my learning days. Wrote one in 5th grade called 'the game.' I rejected a lot of the assigned, expository or persuasive type essays, but in high school I fell in love with the art of written communication. The days of AIM had already flared up, but there was something nostalgic and meaningful to pass notes back and forth. I don't mean little half pieces of paper when the teacher's back is turned. I'm talking like, 1, 2 page notes. Ones that you start in second period and don't finish til after lunch. Ones that get folded in ways that were more challenging to deconstruct than to read. Ones that included different color pens. Here, the delay was expected. You might get started during eighth period, but then finish when you're supposed to be doing your homework. If you got a note back the next day, that was impressive. Same day? Well, clearly not enough effort was put in to make it pretty and entertaining, but the fast response was appreciated. Especially when you might have 3 to finish before geography. The lines of the notes might be laced with drama, but the means were treasured.

High school was my last time spent in the dark ages. I got a cell phone before college. Had Facebook just after my 19th birthday. I'm still scared of Twitter. The amount of communication lines continue to expand unnecessarily, and the reaction time is decreasing. More news is spread through Facebook and Twitter than on the news. The lines between friendship, networking, and stalking have never been so blurred. The Venn Diagram cross-section too much resembles one circle. And while I didn't have enough friends to fill up my hands and feet, now I can barely keep track of last name changes. It can be overwhelming. The accelerated and accessible communication has made it nearly impossible to go 'dark.' Even if you drop your cell phone in a cup of beer, you're expected to have it replaced by the weekend. Your house loses power? Your cell phone still works. You're flying to Germany? Planes have wi-fi. You're just checking your email? Well, I sent you a gchat. You're just updating some pictures? I sent you a FB chat. You are driving across the country? I texted you, dammit. You’re camping in Montana? Well, why?

The excessive avenues to reach someone has added a pressure that barely anyone before 2000 has felt. You have to respond. And when you don't, people get annoyed. Sometimes justifiably, most of the time irrationally. The double-edged sword gets us all into trouble. You may not have time to respond, but instead of saying 'can't talk, will call you later,' you just push the phone back into your pocket and continue your night. The act seems harmless, but some day you might be on the other end of that text. It's hard for people to comprehend that you can be unreachable. Last weekend I was on my parents' boat for about 7 straight hours with my phone off. Sometimes, you can go dark. But there are other times, normal times of communication, normal responsibilities, times that were planned, times where your lack of availability is causing problems. 'We have a softball game tonight, can you play?' -nothing 'We still on for dinner tonight?' -nothing 'I'll be home on the 28th, will you be around.' -nothing

Everyone has different tolerances, expectations, and tendencies when it comes to communication in the 21st century. I don't know what's right and wrong. I've neglected messages, forgotten about texts, ignored phone calls, and shut my computer down plenty of times. I've also responded to all of the above as fast as it took to reach out to me in the first place. But there are fewer and fewer places to hide. Your responsibility to keep up with a social circle is growing, whether you like it or not. And you're going to disappoint people no matter how you respond. But it beats the hell out of ‘Hi is Justin there?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘Oh…’