The first real wedding I went to was in 2007. This sounds shocking, since it was nearly 22 years after I was born, but the last wedding I had been to before that one, I wasn't a day over 6, so I wasn’t really able to have the full wedding experience. This new world of weddings (WoW?) started with a coworker of my dad that I had spent several summers on his softball team. I was a 'hey, Chris can come' invite through my parents, but that didn't bring me down, as I competed with the groom and best man for the life of the party. I followed that in 2008 with the wedding of my brother's best friend, once again receiving the 'hey bring Chris' type invite, but this battling through a nasty case of food poisoning, limiting my 'life of the party' mentality. Followed that with a 2009 wedding, one of my oldest friends, finally receiving my own invite, and having a grand old time realizing what time of my life was dawning.
When I started where I work, my age was apparent. It was April of 2008, and nearly a year after I had graduated college, I was merely a 22-year-old with a lackluster seven months of 'working from my room' experience, growing accustomed to life in the office, life in a cube, and most importantly, life as one of, if not the youngest person in the building. At my first mention of attending a wedding, the cliché response came pouring out; ‘just wait, at this age, you’ll be going to weddings every month.’ Or something. I said I know, and that most of my friends would most likely be unmarried for a while. Clearly, almost three years later, more and more of my close friends are engaged, and I realize that our close knit group of friends will be clanging glasses and fixing ties frequently and consistently, each memorably distinct, each the celebration of cherished lives, yet I can’t seem to escape the words of my coworkers. ‘Oh, you’ll be going to a bunch of those, it’s like Dominos.’
When I started where I work, my age was apparent. It was April of 2008, and nearly a year after I had graduated college, I was merely a 22-year-old with a lackluster seven months of 'working from my room' experience, growing accustomed to life in the office, life in a cube, and most importantly, life as one of, if not the youngest person in the building. At my first mention of attending a wedding, the cliché response came pouring out; ‘just wait, at this age, you’ll be going to weddings every month.’ Or something. I said I know, and that most of my friends would most likely be unmarried for a while. Clearly, almost three years later, more and more of my close friends are engaged, and I realize that our close knit group of friends will be clanging glasses and fixing ties frequently and consistently, each memorably distinct, each the celebration of cherished lives, yet I can’t seem to escape the words of my coworkers. ‘Oh, you’ll be going to a bunch of those, it’s like Dominos.’
The thing is, and the reason for writing this, is that the whole idea of your friends getting married, like thousands of other things, has been completely tainted by Facebook. A comment I observed on my newsfeed this morning: ‘everyone.is.engaged….gag.’ Now, these sentiments might be born out of contempt for those in happy, stable, relatively advanced relationship, while us single folk are still waiting for the magic to happen. But they can also be looked at another way. Every time I mention that one of my good friends recently got engaged, which, aside from the one that married back in ’09, over the last 7 months, four close friends can now call their significant other their fiancé, but every time I bring it up, same comments come out. Same, you’ll be seeing a ton of these, you’ll be going to a wedding more than going on vacations, whatever. The thing is, and in no way is this meant to take anything away from those that have popped the question recently, but my Facebook newsfeed has been so completely saturated with engagement announcements, wedding planning updates, engagement pictures, ceremony photo albums, and everything in between, that the whole idea of weddings has become so common.
Tell you the truth, I was looking forward to this barrage of weddings (and, let’s be honest, I still am). But with hundreds of fringe friends and classmates and people I frequently passed on the quad, Facebook has become the medium of divulging this over stimulation of people planning to tie the knot. I’m trying hard not to sound like the bitter, single guy, because really I’m not. But the excitement over hearing the news travel about an engagement nearly gets lost in the shuffle of status updates and comical video posts. Twenty years ago, you only heard about 80% of the people you ever knew getting married when you saw them at your school reunions. These days, I can’t check a notification without seeing the newest ring pose.
Am I saying I’m jealous of all my friends and acquaintances getting married? Possibly. Am I saying I might need to purge some of my friends so I’m not inundated without huge news regarding people I can’t remember how I met? Possibly. Am I saying that Facebook, while at times brilliant, has become something so poisonous that it ruins the special and facilitates the ignorant? Possibly. Whatever I’m saying, something feels different for our generation, and I’m not sure I like it.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
ReplyDeleteAdmit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken." ....Shakespeare
I always read "pshaw to pshaw"..you write well. Kimo from Hilo
I agree about Facebook being "poisonous." thats the best way to put it too, weddings, engagements, relationships, children, babies. There leaves less to learn about your friends in the real world, and we are becoming so saturated with this news that at one point, a friend of mine told me, "wow, you're the first person i was able to tell in person about my egagement." (i had been without internet for about 4 days, my choosing)
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