Baareaking the Law, Breaking the Law

For the first ten or so miles of my drive, depending on when I leave, I progress predominantly significantly below the posted or non-posted speed limit. After six or so years of driving twenty or more miles on the reverse commute to work, there are not many better feelings than the moment that traffic starts to break up. During the drive up 94, this happens almost immediately after passing under the bridge of Old Orchard Road. For the drive out on 90 that I’m currently facing on an almost daily basis, it starts to loosen after Canfield but can’t be considered completely broken up until after the toll, at least as long as the construction slumbers on. From my experience on 290, it’s hell until 294 so don’t get your hopes up. I’m not too familiar with the commute on 55, but might get acquainted in the near future. But in that instant, when the space between cars grows linearly ahead of you, what’s the first action of the collective group? LET’S GO FFFFFAST!! The speed limit is 55mph. Fifty five. Five five. Have you ever actually driven 55 on an expressway in light traffic? You’re getting passed by kites. Your car hasn’t gotten out of 3^rd gear. It’s embarrassing. Model Ts are breathing down your neck. Morning commute traffic in the left lane moves between 70 and 75. This is agreed upon, acceptable, and apparently still cool through construction zones. Every day, hundreds of thousands of people are making a collective to decision to break the law. And everyone’s okay with this.

Speaking of my morning commute in case there was any doubt where I do most of my thinking, I see probably two hundred unique motorists every day, and apparently I find myself among the company of some very important people. How could I make such a declaration? Why, by the copious amount of people that is holding a glowing rectangle in front of their face. What other explanation could there be? Illinois has recently gone blanket phoneless, which means if you’re holding your phone and operating a motor vehicle, you my friend are breaking the law. Hands free does not mean speaker phone while you hold the phone 12 inches from your face and gab with your bestie. That’s not hands-free, that’s hands. In addition to being in danger of receiving a ticket, you’re in danger of dying. There isn’t one person in world, that’s over seven billion people, that could argue that it’s safer to drive while operating a cell phone. But I do. Yesterday I searched for a Bill Simmons podcast on Grantland, loaded it, hit play, and plugged it into my car adapter, all while operating a vehicle. Thankfully my stick shift driving days have taken a leave of absence, but there I was, breaking the law and putting my life in danger. Granted I try to minimize my exposure and keep my eyes on the road, but let’s be honest, I’m an idiot. And I’m in good company.

Rolling stop signs. Running orange lights (you know, that color between yellow and red that everyone sees as green). Cruising through a no turn on red. Crossing over solid lines. Abandoning your turn signal. Ignoring your headlights. Blasting your music. Parking wherever you want with your flashers on. Changing lanes in the middle of an intersection.

Why do we feel impermeable while we’re driving? How many laws do you break on a daily basis that doesn’t occur when you’re in an automobile? Jay-walking… I think that starts and ends my list. If I was living in Hong Kong I could include spitting in public.

Cars have become our suit of armor. We are Tony Stark when behind the wheel. Is it because people can’t see my face? I’m somehow obscured and protected in a way that allows me to violate laws? I must just think that it’s the machine that’s breaking the law, not the user. What other possible explanation could there be for such a blatant disregard of the rules and guidelines that our society has agreed upon? We don’t have put a face with committing the crime so it’s okay. What cowardice! Driving around like the big bad wolf on Wall Street while we cower like the little pigs on foot. For shame.

I’m not advocating committing more crimes outside of your vehicle. And I’m not entirely sure I’m going to start abiding by the speed limit, making two-second stops at stop signs, and parking legally one hundred percent of the time. But there’s something mildly unnerving about our law-breaking frequency when we’re behind the wheel of a two-thousand pound deadly weapon.