Young and Prepared?

If you were 13 years old, and you had the chance to obtain the wealth of knowledge that you currently possess, would you? Not necessarily educationally (meaning you wouldn't just ace every test), and it's not your experiences that carry over (so you don't already know who does and doesn't like you, etc.), so I guess let me clarify.

I was, to a certain point, socially inept in junior high and high school. So my thoughts on this topic relate to the idea of being able to have the social skills of a 25 or a 35 year old, and insert them into your life as a pimple-faced, fashionably-challenged teenager. And this is where this conversation takes a turn for me.

Of course I would not want to relive the last 10-15 years of my life. That's not the point. You don't get a do-over. But think back to those 'discovery days' of your youth. Would you have rather been equipped with calm nerves, relaxed confidence, and an arsenal of tips, tricks, moves, and weapons? I guess this question only really applies to those of us that were...... less successful when it comes to these types of scenarios, but I still like the idea enough to try to get some thoughts out on it.

This all came about after watching a Two and a Half Men episode in which Charlie, the gun slinging ladies man, coaches his nephew at his first boy/girl party. With a tool belt filled with the right tools, (not so) little Jake successfully gets some alone time with the smart, apparently cute girl from his class. So basically, the knowledge and 'skill set' of a man that has gone through all ups and downs of dating throughout the years is transferred to someone that is on the very edge of that landslide. And I can't help to think what shape my life mural would currently take if those were the same circumstances that I was faced with. Especially since I was a much more competent 13 year old than Jake acts to be.

But when I look back over the course of time when I started noticing girls and finding my place in the social world, and I see the missed opportunities, missed connections, I'm not sure where it leaves me. One side of me is eternally curious about every situation in my life than never panned out because of my inexperience, tentativeness, or lack of confidence. This is something that eats at me more frequently than it should. The other side is still genuinely happy with my current life, so to want to change anything from my past would be foolish.

So I guess, at the end of this disjointed thought strand is the very obvious conclusion: this question makes no sense. If you're not actually given the opportunity to re-live those years, and you're only gaining a very specific pamphlet of knowledge, then this hypothetical is completely unrealistic and useless. Fine. But does anyone else wonder what their life would be like if you would have just slow danced with that girl in 7th grade instead of claiming you don't know how to dance, not realizing all you really have to do is waddle back and forth? Or where they would be right now if they had just grabbed someone hands and pulled them in for a kiss instead of cracking a joke and trying to get out of a situation where you were nervous?

I wouldn't exchange any of my 'failed' experiences if it meant I wasn't exactly where I am today, but hell, I'm damn curious what my life would have been like. Or at least curious what it would have been like to experience some of those chances I tossed away.

And to bring this back to my thoughts on 2009, maybe this is why every year of my life is better than the previous. I don't look back at high school as the best 4 years of my life. I don't look back at college as the best 4 years of my life. And maybe that is because for the last 12-15 years, each year I learn a little more, I experience a little more, and at the end of the day, I am a more complete person.

But a kid can wonder.