As summer winds down, only days away from the official beginning of autumn, I find the contours of my life changing alongside the colors and the temperatures that a new season brings. At no point did I think that nothing would ever change, but as I inch closer and closer to my quarter century mark, some of the relatively static portions of everyday living are being shuffled, exchanged, swapped, altered, and reformatted. As more and more friends move away, pair off, move out, tie the knot, and start families, the dynamic of our relationships will shift with the additional construction supplanted all around. It's inevitable. And although inevitable, there are still several different ways that you can react, eventually dictating what level of happiness you are able to carve out of the trees that once surrounded you.
1.) Follow Suit, Turtle Style
So your life is changing around you. The rest of the world is in motion, advancing, maturing, discovering new journeys with new people, leaving you caught in the middle, surrounded by the rush. Well, we can take a lesson from physics, ya know, the whole 'equal and opposite reaction' thing. Well flip it. Instead of combating these new trends, flinging yourself into a propelled tailspin, further distancing yourself from the very life you wished to stay connected to; you turn and run with them, greatly minimizing the impact. Physics analogy aside, you follow your friends, your peers. The more and more "First Name Maiden Name Last Name" titles you see in your friends list on Facebook, the more and more you want to join them. So if you were behind the curve in the beginning, you shorten the distance and make up ground.
What does this do? Well it keeps you with the lead pack, or if nothing else, on the lead lap. Maybe it was the motivation you needed to take some new strides and make some new plans. This might be the best thing that ever happened to you. It also might be a mistake that you rush into because you believe it's where you're supposed to be, when in reality, like I've stated previously, "we're all wired differently, built differently, composed of the same parts, but we're all running different software." So to constantly compare your progress with those that you've always been around might be misleading. It can be a good measuring stick, but at the end of the day, you have to decide on what makes the most sense for you, what you're comfortable with, and forget about the variables. If you would have ended up in the same spot, then you got lucky. But those chances usually aren't very high (with no actual proof to back any of this up, mind you. Just my thoughts).
2.) Stand Your Ground, General Custer Style
Let's look at that same physics tid bit, ya know, the whole 'equal and opposite reaction' thing, but this time from the other side. So your life is changing around you, but you're not ready to move. You like the butt rut you've grooved into your La-Z-Boy and it would take a helluva wind storm to blow you over. In some twisted form of protest, you make it a point to participate in any activity that your fleeting world has left behind, regardless of what it may be. This doesn't only apply to the mid-twenties, but any time frame during your lifespan where you feel your world shifting seemingly without notice. So as a self-proclaimed outcast, you rebel, and also seemingly unknowingly, you begin to pour your own cement, guaranteeing the stagnant build-up of stale decisions and a lacking motivation.
What does this do? Well, it completely ostracizes you from the world you are trying to hold on to, it creates a lifestyle set up for complacency, and most likely leads to an attempt to ice pick away the dried mortar that keep your legs from moving in a positive direction. Okay, maybe I made that sound a little more harsh than necessary, but choosing to directly oppose those you wanted to keep close should never end in the place you wanted to get to. It just doesn't make sense.
3.) Explore New Land, Lewis and Clark Style
Physics be damned (not literally, just for this scenario). When that whirlwind of debris kicks up, leaving you blind, if you don't run with it, and you don't run into it, if you time it right, pick your gaps, maybe, just maybe, you can run through it. Be not confined by what those around you are doing, and instead, take your experiences, take your friends' experiences, take what you already know and combine it with what you want to know, and explore. While the comfort of a familiar life is, comforting... it can also be restricting without squeezing. You can be tied-down with no strings attached. And even though the life you're leading is everything you think you could want, there is an unfathomable amount of options and people and experiences that might not otherwise be experienced.
What does this do? Well, if done correctly, it merges what you loved from the present with your adventures from the future in some sort of newly evolved balance. Every life is and should be different, and no one way to live it is correct. But if you look at situations in the right light, at the right angle, and keep twisting them until you see an opportunity, you can almost always find a way to make your life fulfilling enough to skip over the lulls and disappointments, the valleys and the ruts. After all, "if you don't like it, change it. But if you can't change it, change the way you look at it."
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